May 2011
1 post
April 2011
12 posts
k-troll asked: Sure. Next time you plan on being in Philly, drop me a line or add me on Facebook (link on the side of my site). And then, the elusive HIGHER FIVE.
(Untitled)
I’m hungry. Not just hungry, though.
I’m fucking starving. It hurts constantly,
But sometimes I don’t feel it. I feel it when I know I need to eat,
And it gets worse when I think about it.
Pretending it isn’t there makes it worse too.
At least when I pretend, I believe I’ll be okay.
The last time I had a good meal seems like it was so damn long ago.
The little...
I always seem to be what people need when they need it, but never what they want when they want it.
Things I ask myself on a regular basis.
smangirl:
Why are people so nice to me?
Why do I regret past romantic relationships if I learned from them and they helped make me who I am today?
Why am I addicted to pet fish?
Why do I put my complete trust in people who don’t deserve it?
How do I find people that deserve my trust and friendship?
Why do people who don’t even know me dislike me? Can people be that much influenced by other...
People disgust me these days.
*belch*
THREE HOURS OF NOT SLEEPING LATER...
smangirl:
reyno:
smangirl:
I think it’s time for melatonin. Double dose. Expect me to be awake at 3 pm the earliest.
Melatonin is not a sedative/hypnotic. It’s a neurotransmitter which makes us feel sleepy. The effects only last 20-30 minutes. Now you know! AND KNOWING IS HALF THE BATTLE.
Yep, I usually take it to help me fall asleep, otherwise I’ll lay in bed for an hour or two. And I...
THREE HOURS OF NOT SLEEPING LATER...
smangirl:
I think it’s time for melatonin. Double dose. Expect me to be awake at 3 pm the earliest.
Melatonin is not a sedative/hypnotic. It’s a neurotransmitter which makes us feel sleepy. The effects only last 20-30 minutes. Now you know! AND KNOWING IS HALF THE BATTLE.
Broetry
Bill Reynolds: And today I will embark on a journey to create broetry.
Bill Reynolds: Something like this.
Bill Reynolds: Crispy Critter, by Bill Reynolds EN-99, remedial English
Rory Marinich: I want to write a poem called "Broetry" now
Bill Reynolds:
The crispy critter hops
Like it was alive again.
Shining fluid, bubbling,
Propels it this way
And that.
I show my bro
My salty confection:
A bountiful feast
Sits in my pan.
Bill Reynolds: BEAUTIFUL BACON
Rory Marinich: Hm
Bill Reynolds: I made this off the top of my head.
Bill Reynolds: It's about anarcho-syndiclism and the military-industrial complex.
Rory Marinich: Oh, fuck off.
Rory Marinich: :D
Bill Reynolds: lol
Bill Reynolds: Got youuuuuu
What Nurses and High Class Prostitutes Have in...
In a nutshell, nurses take care of people. That means a lot more than just giving them medication, helping them bathe, and dressing their wounds. Imagine a time when you were sick. You feel like crap, you look like crap, and you potentially can’t even take care of yourself. How would you feel with a stranger seeing you in that state? Undressed, weak, covered in your own shit and vomit, it doesn’t...
March 2011
5 posts
"The worst nuclear accident since Chernobyl..."
That’s what they’re all saying. It’s true! But, Chernobyl was really fucking horrible and the things that have happened since then were minimally dangerous. The Three Mile Island accident, which was the worst since then, dosed only an expected 100 millirem to the people within a five mile radius. That level isn’t terribly significant in a short time frame.
While the...
2 tags
Series on Etiquette: Dating
Good day!
There comes a time in an individual’s life when he decides it’s time to starting putting his parts on other peoples parts. Typically this comes with an interest in putting his emotional parts on people too. In this day and age, dating is poorly understood because society didn’t meticulously develop a way to date that actually makes sense, like I did. Between the lack...
January 2011
11 posts
Is it me, or is The Office just the same four...
STOP ASKING RIDICULOUS QUESTIONS OR YOU’LL BE SENT TO WORK IN THE SULPHUR MINES.
1 tag
Joke
Series on Etiquette: E-Language
Salutations!
It’s hard to go a day without talking to a fellow human being without using an SMS text message, Twitter, or Facebook. This volume of the guide is intended to establish a standardized shorthand language for use online and over the airwaves. Over time, hopefully with the help of thoughtful contributors, this guide will become as complete as it needs to be.
Part One: Common...
If people tell me all the time to gain some...
You can! And you should. But remember, constructive criticism with sensitivity is the way to do it. You can’t just call them a fatty. (Or you can, I don’t give a fuck.)
feminist slut: if girls didn't have periods and... →
goodreasonnews:
squee-gee:
dr-grumbles:
twitchylittlenoses:
roranicus:
craig-gilner:
you
bleed
out
of
there
bloody ovum okay
oh my god what girl do you know who pees out of her vagina
fucking christ if a girl peed out of her vagina i would not eat her out
Tell me again that these abstinence only education classes are working. Someone legitimately thinks that urine comes out...
Sign here, please.
Over two years in EMS and I’m ready for it to end. It’s not that the stress was too much for me, or that I’ve been traumatized. It’s quite the opposite really. This isn’t for the weak of heart.
-
When I was still in high school I decided it would be a good idea to become an EMT. Not to help people really, but because I was interested in doing it — in the...
December 2010
3 posts
New Hypnosis Things
I have done some pretty hilarious things with hypnosis. Here’s a list of my favorite things:
Making participants act out a Mad-lib
Ticklish words
Making people feel like they’re on some kind of drug (MDMA, LSD, Marijauna)
Unreasonable anger over trivial things
Anchoring a handshake to an orgasm
I want more super-hilarious tricks. So I think, “What do I think people...
How does sex destroy a relationship?
In the beginning, there are two people. Their genders are unimportant because as Rory Marinich eloquently put it: “Women are just as horny as men.” It’s true. People get horny and then they try to find somebody to find sex with. Society makes its entrance here to tell these two that they can’t have sex unless they are emotionally interested in each other. So they...
October 2010
1 post
My New Series on Etiquette
Ladies and Gents,
I have been forcibly placed, almost continuously, in one disturbingly awkward situation after another. Why? Examine the following possibilities.
Persons are not aware. Of themselves or those around them.
Persons are careless, especially in regard to those around themselves.
Persons are fairly ignorant of social convention. Especially in delicate situations.
Rather than...
June 2010
4 posts
Vuvuzela
Rory: I'm off to bed BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
Me: Okay, have a goBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
Hey, new followers!
I’m a bit confused that I have new followers after not posting for so long. I am even more confused by the nature of you followers: fashion people! What did I do to deserve your attention?
Anyway, glad to have you reading.
(Seriously though, why follow me?)
k-troll asked: Glad to see you back, dude! How goes it?
“With juicy strips of steak and rich feta cheese, it’s hard to believe that this main dish salad recipe has less than 200 calories per serving.”
-Recipe.com,
http://www.recipe.com/mediterranean-beef-salad-with-lemon-vinaigrette/
YES! It is hard to believe that you can eat as much salad as you want and only take in 200 calories! It’s also not true.
My friend from...
March 2010
17 posts
There's only one way to find out.
It’s been one month, and overall I’ve been happier than I have in a long, long time. Though Alexis and I haven’t met yet, I haven’t stopped imagining what it’ll be like when we finally meet in one week. It gets better every time I daydream about it; it’ll be a long hug and a kiss on the cheek while we quietly discuss how we’ve both been yearning for that...
There's only one way to find out.
It’s been one month, and overall I’ve been happier than I have in a long, long time. Though Alexis and I haven’t met yet, I haven’t stopped imagining what it’ll be like when we finally meet in one week. It gets better every time I daydream about it; it’ll be a long hug and a kiss on the cheek while we quietly discuss how we’ve both been yearning for that...
textsfromrightnow
I love when you say something I don’t understand. <#
What do you think love is?
I think true love is real. I think it’s when everything you can’t say to a person with words can be expressed physically, and everything you can’t express physically can be conveyed with words; it’s when those two factors become a single factor of unbroken communication. It can only happen once, and, like God, it exists only through faith.
Love is a perfect emotion, but it...
WTF
Smoking cigarettes was cheaper than not smoking! I can’t BELIEVE how much food I eat now. I’ve spent so much money on food that I might have to start smoking again so I don’t go broke.
These are my friends...
Bill: Lol, why would you be a fan of keeping your pants ON?
Sheila: HAHAHAHAAAA
Sheila: they didnt have one for taking your pants off
Jesus H. Christ on a Pogo Stick...
captainbigboobs:
I need a major attitude adjustment today. I’m in one of those moods where, no matter what is said to me, my first inclination is to disagree with it. And I hate myself like that.
Maybe I’ll go out and walk for a bit and see if that helps me any.
*hug*
People need more hugs, and I’ll be DAMNED if I’m going to let them go without one.
NB4R
Wowzers. Let’s talk decency for a minute.
You have a duty to the other people on this earth. We share the places we eat and walk and talk, and you need to respect that other people have to deal with you! If you go out looking like a slob with your hair all over your head, we have to be disgusted by it. In the same vein, if you go out and act like a child, it’s the rest of us who have...
“I’m all dressed up and I’m trying my best to get down/ come on girl,...”
– Sing it loud